watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she peed on how many people?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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