I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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