this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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