Life is so much better after having sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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