if you like me you must not know who I am
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize