I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I still have a little drunk in my system
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
