I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
