Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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