her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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