I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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