'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
