Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
