girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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