It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
