We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
