He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
