I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
