you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
