He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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