well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
