We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
