That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
