haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
