are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
