tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
