dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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