Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize