u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
