Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
