i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
nutella sex= disaster
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
