He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
