then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
