: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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