Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
