Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
