According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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