there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
