It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
