Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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