So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
