it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
