searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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