i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need moral support for this bender
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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