Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
