A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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