Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
