So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
now i know why i became what i already was.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
