I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
