he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
