do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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