Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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