saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
