No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
