so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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