He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize