there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
