so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
