I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
