high people should be assigned attendants
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You need Xanax blowdarts
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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