i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Rumble strips road head = magical
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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