Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
