you're like a bully in the Christmas story
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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